Monday, September 13, 2021
7:10 a.m Green Guest House
Mae Sot, Thailand
I have to say that I’ve been disappointed in the month of September so far. The weather was supposed to improve. I was supposed to be on my scooter in Sukhothai. But it appears that a couple of typhoons have been making life difficult around Asia. I think I saw them called super typhoons in the media. And those weather systems have kept rain clouds firmly in place over Mae Sot. It rained on me during my ride back to Mae Sot, and it has rained on me every day since. The sky today, again, is packed with dark, grey clouds. It isn’t raining right now. Just drizzling. But it is enough to keep me largely indoors. I certainly won’t be scootering anywhere interesting or far flung today. It is clearly going to rain most of the day, probably heavily at times.
September was also supposed to be a month of restrictions being lifted and some semblance of normalcy returning. And that has also turned out to be largely untrue. I don’t see any difference here in Mae Sot. In fact, it looks and feels worse to me. Everything that was closed before is still closed. And many places that I frequent are not just temporarily closed, such as offering only takeaway service, but are completely closed, with shuttered doors. Some have gone out of business and have “For Sale” signs on them. My regular hardware store is one of these. Sadly, that hardware business is gone, the building now empty and up for sale.
In September, there was a glimmer of hope that I could find a vaccine to give my immune system a chance to make some preparations and train for the real deal. But that also turned out to be false hope. And the result of all these factors is that I live in a depressed, muted world, and it appears to be affecting my mood. If my dreams can be taken as an indicator of my mood, then I am tremendously anxious and stressed and worried. I have been unable to sleep much, as I wake up constantly from terrifying dreams in which I face problems that I can never overcome. I wake up with a pounding heart, over and over, and then I can’t get back to sleep. I climb out of bed each morning to face the day, already defeated and exhausted. Yesterday, my right eye fell victim to this lack of proper sleep, and it developed a terrible pain on one side, and the eye turned bright red as the day passed. It became impossible to keep that eye open, and I walked around with one eye closed, a sleep-deprived and not-so-jolly pirate. Today, the eye is open, though still red and angry. The mood of Planet Doug is a grim one this morning.
But I soldier on. There are positives. I’m astonished at how well this MacBook and I are getting along. We are becoming fast friends. I’ve even fallen in love with the trackpad. I have long been anti-trackpad. I’ve hated them. However, it appears that my attitude was the result of using only laptops with very low-quality trackpads. This MacBook is not one of those. The MacBook’s trackpad works flawlessly, and I’ve been investing time in learning all the proper multi-finger gestures. Now, I don’t even reach for the mouse ever. I’m all about the trackpad.
And with that, I must shut down for now and go engage with the real world for a little bit. Boring stuff, though. I have to go to immigration soon, so I thought I would just get it out of the way and go tomorrow. And that means I need to get some photocopies and fill out some forms and get ready.