Saturday, March 19, 2022
1:40 p.m. Room 904, Shangsin House
Mae Hong Son, Thailand
I rode my scooter from Pai to here this morning. It was a great ride despite the haze. I powered through the hundreds of curves and just opened myself up to the joy of the ride. However, if you were on this road for the scenery, the haze definitely would have been a disappointment. Standing at the various viewpoints to take in the vistas, you might as well have been standing in front of a light grey wall. That’s all you could see: various shades of grey. The haze was that thick. I couldn’t even see the outlines of the hills and mountains. People always refer to farmers burning off their fields when talking about this haze. Yet, I haven’t seen any fires anywhere.
I had an issue with this hotel. And the issue actually dates back to months ago when I stayed here the first time. I booked a room at the Shangsin House through the Agoda app. And at that time, I could have sworn I booked a room with air conditioning. I remembered choosing this hotel and this room in particular because it had air conditioning. I could get a fan-only room at the PLP Guest House for 300 baht. Or I could pay 440 at Shangsin and get air conditioning. And at that time, the PLP was fully booked, so I stayed here. And then when I checked in, my room at the Shangsin, Room 910, had only a fan. On that visit, I just let it go. I was busy with a bunch of stuff. I was on my way back to Mae Sot to go to immigration. I had pulled a muscle in my back, and I was in a lot of pain. I just didn’t have the energy to worry about whether the room was supposed to have air conditioning or not. And then I forgot all about that episode.
And while I was in Pai, I wanted to book a room here in Mae Hong Son again. As usual, the PLP was fully booked. They had no rooms available. And in terms of pricing, the Shangsin was the next best value. So I looked at the available rooms at the Shangsin, and I saw that for 440 baht, I could get a nice room with air conditioning. And I booked it for two nights. And then after I booked it online, I remembered the whole issue about my old room and air conditioning. And I started to dread the possibility of a confrontation over this.
The thing is that I lose in every confrontation. I cannot possibly win. There are two possible outcomes. One is that I simply do nothing. If I show up at the Shangsin today, and they give me a fan-only room when I paid for air conditioning, and I do nothing, I lose. I’ll have no air conditioning, and I will feel like a wimp because I didn’t stand up for myself.
The other outcome is that they give me a fan-only room and then I point out that my reservation is for a room with air conditioning. And then we will have to fight over that. And perhaps I will win. But then I will feel terrible. I will feel bad for the hotel people. And I will now feel uncomfortable around them for the whole time I stay there. I usually prefer to lose any confrontation. I feel better and happier when the people around me win. I feel happier for them than I would be for myself if I won. I have a lot of “mom” tendencies in that regard. I prefer to sacrifice my own comfort so that other people feel better. I end up actually feeling better because they feel better even though, technically, I’m in a worse situation.
So, whenever there is a problem, I can’t win. If I lose, I lose. And even if I win, I lose, because I feel terrible. And in fact, I lost before this confrontation even started because I thought about it so much. While I was still in Pai, I kept thinking ahead to this hotel in Mae Hong Son and what could happen and what I would do about it. I played out the situation in my head multiple times. And this whole thing was made more complicated because the worst thing about this hotel on my last visit were the people running the place. The hotel itself is pretty good. The rooms are large by Thai standards. And they are perfectly comfortable. And the hotel is very new, so everything is in good condition. But the hotel is also rather soulless. And the husband and wife team that run it are extremely cold and unfriendly, especially the woman. They will take your money and hand you a key to the room (while never making eye contact), but beyond that, they don’t exist. They also don’t speak any English at all. Therefore, I saw no conversation with them going well.
I had a good ride to get here even though I was dreading arriving at the hotel. Then I got here, and I got out my passport and I got out my phone and I prepared by going to the Agoda app and calling up this room on the Shangsin House listing. This is what they call their Deluxe Double Twin. It costs 440 baht, and right there in the description of the room, it says that it has an air conditioner. There is even a picture of an air conditioner – a little graphic.
I checked in, and they gave me a room key. It turns out it was room 910, the same room I had last time. And I wasn’t absolutely clear in my mind about this air conditioning business, so I took the key and I went up to the room (despite being room 910, it is on the second floor) to see if it had an air conditioner. Maybe they put one in since my last visit. But there was no air conditioner. Just a fan.
And now I had that choice to make. I could let it go and feel like a wimp. Or I could talk to the owners about it and feel bad. I decided to at least point out the mistake. I honestly didn’t care that much about the air conditioning or the price. Even at 440 baht, the fan-only room is good value. It’s a great room for that price. So I decided to speak to them about it. And if they responded in any kind of a reasonable way, I would then probably give in and just let it go. This way I wouldn’t feel like a total wimp. And I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.
However, this couple did what I feared they would do. They simply wouldn’t listen, and they just dismissed me by trying to wave their hand at me. They had a sign on the wall that listed the prices of their various rooms. And they kept pointing to the price of the fan-only room. And they pointed out the higher price for the A/C room. This was a hand-written sign that they stuck up with Scotch tape. I tried to point out to them that that sign had nothing to do with me. They could have any sign they wanted on the wall. They could have ten signs on the wall. I had booked and paid for the room through Agoda, and on Agoda, I had booked a room with air conditioning. And I kept holding out my phone and showing them how the Shangsin listing for this room showed air conditioning. And if these people had looked at my phone and then reacted to it in any way, I would have let the issue go. But they refused to acknowledge it. The man kept pointing to the sign on the wall. I indicated that the issue was Agoda, not the sign. And I tried to get him to look at Agoda on my phone again. But he wouldn’t.
And the fact that he would not engage with me in any kind of a friendly way annoyed me. And I decided to stick to my guns. I insisted over and over again that I had reserved a room with air conditioning. And I just kept pointing at Agoda on my phone and saying the word Agoda. I refused to acknowledge his sign. He waved his hand at me to dismiss me and my words. I waved my hand at his sign to dismiss it in turn.
To my amazement, the man gave in. And he turned back to a little cupboard where they kept the room keys, and he gave me the key to room 904. I felt bad about this whole scene, but apparently I had won the day. And I want to point out that I was smiling and being friendly and even laughing the whole time. I wasn’t being confrontational at all. But I was the only one being friendly.
I took the key to Room 904, and I went to the room and dropped off my knapsack. Then I went back outside to get my backpack from my scooter. And by this time, the woman had appeared. And, as is almost always true in these situations, she was the hardass of the two. She had found out that her wimp of a husband had changed my room for me, and she wasn’t happy about this. She called me over with a very angry look on her face, and she started pointing at the sign on the wall, just as her husband had done. And she got out a calculator and started calculating what she thought was the difference in price between a fan-only room and a room with air conditioning. She wanted me to pay them the difference in cash for my two nights here. And if she had smiled… If she had acknowledged that the Agoda listing was a mistake… If she had offered even a hint of an apology for the confusion… If she had even taken one second to look at the listing on Agoda, I would have paid her the money. I would have done it just to keep the peace. But she was so mean and so abrupt and so hostile that I got annoyed, and I simply said no. I already had the key to Room 904. So they didn’t have a lot of bargaining power. And with a friendly smile and a warm demeanor, I quietly refused to pay them any extra. Once again, I referred them to my online reservation. There it was on my phone: two nights in an air conditioned room. Paid in full. And that’s what was going to happen as far as I was concerned.
And to my surprise, she also backed down. She seemed so angry with me and her husband that I thought she would resort to calling the police or start screaming. But she backed down. And I went out to my scooter to get my backpack and other things.
Unfortunately, despite winning the disagreement, I still felt like I had lost. I felt bad. Now my whole stay at this hotel is going to feel sour. Even when I came back in with my backpack, the woman happened to be walking up the hallway, and we had to pass each other, and she refused to look at me. She just stared at the floor in an angry way as I walked by. And that’s how it is going to feel all the time that I’m staying here. It will feel awkward every time I leave my room and exit the hotel through the lobby. I actually had plans to stay here for three nights in total. I had a few things I wanted to do in Mae Hong Son. I just booked two nights initially as a precaution. But I fully intended to extend my stay by one more night. But now I won’t. I’ll be leaving Mae Hong Son after two nights. If I do stay for a third night, it won’t be at this hotel. I’ll move to a new hotel. And if I ever come back to Mae Hong Son, I won’t stay at this hotel again.
And that’s what I mean about how I always lose. Even when I win, I lose. If I stand up for myself and make a big deal out of a certain situation, I end up feeling so bad that I can never return to that place. So I end up worse off than if I had just let it go from the beginning. I’ve often wondered how you fix a temperament like that. How can you get into a disagreement with someone, win the argument, and then still feel good afterwards? I always end up feeling so bad for the other person that I wish they had won. I would rather lose than win just so the other person doesn’t have to lose.
The funny thing is that I’m now sure that the owners of this hotel are actually right. The room for 440 baht per night has to be a fan-only room. They gave me the key to Room 904, which is an air-con room. But it is much more than that. It is not the same as Room 910 but with an air conditioner. It is far nicer than Room 910 in every way. It has a refrigerator in addition to the air conditioner. And the bathroom is brand new and very modern. It has a much nicer sink and nicer faucets and hot water heater. I clearly did not pay for such a nice room.
When I look at the listing for my Deluxe Twin Room, it says nothing about a refrigerator. And the pictures are of a room with older and cheaper fixtures of every kind. This room is much nicer than the one I paid for. However, every time I look at the listings for the Deluxe Twin Room, I see the air conditioner. It says right there in words and pictures that the room I booked comes with an air conditioner. There is no mistaking that. So I shouldn’t feel bad.
The confusion is actually even deeper than that. I can see on the Agoda listing that this room, Room 904, the room with air conditioning, a refrigerator, and nicer fixtures, actually costs 620 baht per night. That’s what I should be paying. Yet, that listing on Agoda is called their “Twin Room”. It’s just called a Twin Room. My room, the cheaper room at 440 baht per night is called the Deluxe Twin Room.
So, they even have the names backwards. Not only is my 440-baht-per-night room listed as having an air conditioner, it is called their Deluxe Twin Room. I think it’s pretty reasonable to expect that the Deluxe Twin is going to have air conditioning. Why else would it be called deluxe?
My problem with all these issues even extends beyond the basic facts of this misunderstanding or disagreement. I walk into almost every hotel in Thailand with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. There is so little customer service and absolutely zero sense of welcome or hospitality. Quite often, the hotel will be deserted. It takes work on my part to even find someone that works there.
Plus, as a single person, I feel discriminated against in that I am forced to pay for a twin room. I don’t have a choice in the matter, because they never even offer single rooms. No hotel does anymore. Right out of the gate, I’m paying for a ton of stuff that I don’t want or need. I’m paying for two beds. But I only need one. They are supplying two towels, two bars of soap, two packets of shampoo, and two bottles of water when I don’t need them. I’m from the backpacker category, meaning that I have my own towel and soap and shampoo and water. I certainly don’t have any use for the TV. I don’t really even need the air conditioning or the refrigerator or all the space in this room. If it comes to that, I don’t even need the bathroom. If they offered a simple, bare room with nothing in it but a single bed and a fan and a shared bathroom, and that room cost 150 baht per night, I’d take it. But such a room doesn’t exist. So I’m sort of losing out right from the start by being forced to pay for a much nicer room than I want. And I’m forced to pay for two people.
Since I’m just one person, shouldn’t they even give me a discount on this twin room? I’m not going to use the other bed. I’m not going to use their soap and shampoo. I’m not even going to use their comforter on the bed. It’s too thick and hot for me and it’s too short anyway. I often remove the bedding and just use my own sheet, which I bring with me. I’m even going to use less water and electricity. So, in my many ways, these hotel rooms are a bad bargain for me right from the beginning. So I shouldn’t feel bad that I stood up for myself.
As I said a couple of times, if either the husband or the wife had even once bothered to take my phone and look at my online reservation and see that it listed air conditioning, I would have let the whole thing go. I would have taken the fan-only room or paid the extra for this air-con room. If they had looked at the Agoda listing and acknowledged that they had made a mistake, I would have been happy to let it go. But they were so unfriendly that it got my back up.
And because I’m crazy about details, I just checked their listing on Booking dot com. And on that app, this room does NOT have air conditioning listed. The listing there is accurate (though they still call the fancy room just a Twin while the basic room is the Deluxe Twin). It’s only on Agoda that there is a mistake about the air conditioning.